Happy Mothers Day

A late entry on this Mothers Day 2019. I’ve spent my day with grand babies that are not born of my blood but of my heart and their beautiful mama,who, gifted me the honor of serving her in the births of three of those four sweet little humans. It was a good day relaxing,playing, eating VooDoo Doughnuts and learning to sew. I usually spend Mothers Day hanging with my kids and grand kids but I ended up needing to do a little business up north so here I am away from home but still blessed at being able to enjoy family.

I first became somebody’s mother back in March of 1985. I was 17 1/2 years old and my daughter came early at 31 weeks. I named her Ashley. I didn’t get to see her for much more than a minute,she was having difficulty breathing and the doctors wanted to get her to the nursery to get her stabilized. I was a little worried but figured that everything would be well shortly…it wasn’t. Within a few hours she was being transported to the nearest hospital with a NICU. Before she left,the nurses stopped by with my baby in an incubator, I reached through the little holes in the sides so I could touch her. She had heart monitors and wires and an IV,there was also a hood over her head and her chest sunk in with every breath she took. I was in shock at what my daughter looked like. Then the nurses turned and handed me a Polaroid picture as they whisked her out the door. Another nurse stopped by with a number for me to call and check on my daughter later that evening. I was devastated and feeling empty, with no baby in my belly or my arms, I layed in the hospital bed and cried myself asleep.

I was woken by the phone ringing around 10 pm, it was the NICU calling to tell me that they did not think my little girl was going to make it through the night and that if I wanted to come see her before she passed, I should come now. I. Freaked. Out! I called my mom and begged her to come get me and take me to see my baby but there was a problem. The medication I had been given to stop my premature labor had caused some irregular heart issues and the doctors thought that I had had a small heart attack before Ashley was born,so they refused to release me from the hospital until I had further tests. My heart was broken,there was no test needed for that diagnosis. My mom went to the hospital where my baby was hooked to more wires, IV lines in her belly button and a respirator. They told mom that Ashley was suffering with respiratory distress syndrome/hyaline membrane disease, this meant that every time she exhaled, her lungs would stick together,making it almost impossible for her to take the next breath.If she managed to pull through,they were fairly vocal about the fact that she would be hooked up to a breathing machine for 6 weeks minimum. This news was not what we wanted to hear. Mom spent time with baby,took pictures, went to the one hour development place and then brought me photos of my little girl. The next four days dragged on and on.

On day 5 I was taken for an angiogram. As the lead was being pushed up my groin headed to my heart we got word that the NICU had transported Ashley to a childrens hospital for more detailed care AND that once she got there they were able to wean her off the respirator almost immediately! My daughter was breathing room air,on her own…she was going to be ok. The moment my testing was done I hopped into moms car and drove to see my baby…finally. It was the best day ever. Twenty-one days total and a infant cpr class later I brought my 4 lb 11 oz baby home from the hospital and began my life as a mommy in earnest.

Since then I have had four more children, each such a joy and bright light in my life. It has been a struggle,some days I wanted to quit, there were lots of tears but there were so many more joys. The love has never stopped, as a matter of fact it has grown with the beautiful births of my grand son and grand daughter…who’s births I also was blessed to attend.

I never could have fathomed how full my life would be and how much happiness being someone’s mom could bring and there no way,not even for all the dollars in the world that I would change one moment of our lives together. Thank you Ashley,Kailani,Paige,Zachariah and Isaiah for choosing me to be your family,your Mother. I love you