Guest Blog Post: Ashly Gemmill
My entire life has been built around plans, organization and a little bit of spontaneity (me leaving it all behind and moving to Germany on a whim or marrying a man I met online after only 2 months of dating).
I was recently skyping with my dear husband, who is currently spending a year away from us in South Korea. Thank you military life. Sometimes I am able to hold back the tears until after my dear husband has hung up the phone. Today was different. He noticed the tear running down my face. I tried passing it off as a raindrop, as it was currently raining outside. You see what I did there? He saw right through it too! So I began telling him how sad I was. I moved in with family after his departure. My daughter and I have been living out of one bedroom of my parent’s house. I said growing up and dreaming about family life as a young adult I had this picture of a perfect nursery and a perfect little home for my family. He then told me what his idea of perfect was. It wasn’t a perfect house or nursery, you see, to him perfection would have been the time together under one roof as a family. Watching our little girl hit her milestones in person instead of on the screen. Then he said we both had our own ideas about what “perfect” would be in our current situation.
After he hung up it had me really thinking. So I meditated on some verses in my bible. We can have our whole lives planned out in our heads of how things should be, but ultimately God’s plan will override ours every time. We don’t understand the unanswered prayers, or the nights we spend alone crying in the dark. It doesn’t make any sense to me, but throughout my entire life God has proven to me time and again, that HIS way and plan are always 100 times better than my own. I need to just sit back and know that he will never fail me.
So I’m going to trust him in this place right now kicking and screaming and sometimes angry, that my husband is so far away and I’m not in my “perfect place.” I know one day I will look back and say, “now I see what You did there God.” It’s going to all make sense in the end.
Sister to Sister Birth 